The details definitely count.Īlso, keep a list of any behaviors that you aren’t sure how to handle, or aren’t sure if you’re currently handling them in the best way. Write down any time you struggle to stay regulated. Keep a list in a notebook or on your phone. If you aren’t even calm – your child may feel that they must be in an unsafe situation.įirst of all, you need to know what your triggers are. They shouldn’t have to question how will my mom/dad react today? Jekyll and Hyde parenting is very difficult for children.Īlso, consistency and predictability make children feel safe. One thing your child should never have to wonder or worry about is you. So much of life is unpredictable and this causes anxiety for some children. They need consistency and predictability. Your Child Needs You to Stay CalmĬhildren need structure. This is something most of us can do most of the time.īut then sometimes, we can’t. In the green zone, you’re calm and rational, able to think things through and respond to difficult situations appropriately. We use the zones to refer to our emotions as well as the kids since it gives us all a common language for expressing ourselves. It’s how you get yourself back to “the green zone”, which is a term from the Zones of Regulation. It’s how you cope with strong feelings like anger, anxiety, low mood, and even excitement. How you stay calm (or if) is how you achieve emotional regulation. Staying calm is necessary if you want to successfully de-escalate a situation. The best way to foster emotional regulation skills and resilience in children is to model those skills yourself. Scientific research shows a strong correlation between a parent’s emotional regulation skills and the child’s abilities to regulate their emotions. Whether you’re dealing with backtalk, or what feels like a never-ending meltdown, knowing how to stay calm (parental regulation) is the most important (and often most difficult) part of handling the situation. What’s inside this article: Helpful tips for parents to help them stay calm and regulate their own emotions during difficult parenting moments when their child’s behavior is triggering to them.
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